well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
