there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
