how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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