fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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