Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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