nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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