Just fell off a train. Bad.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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