great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
