Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
