I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
