Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
