you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
