y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize