another moral hangover. fuck.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
