I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
