Tell her she can't have a vagina
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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