If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
