Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize