Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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