Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
