i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
