So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
