God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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