dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They are going to name an STD after you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
