I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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