There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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