super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
