People in love make me want to vomit
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
