I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i think i have herpe
just one?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
