i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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