i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
