Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
