We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
