Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
