How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have fence marks all over my body
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
