well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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