Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your face is a jimmy john
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
