hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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