i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
