We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
