Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
