I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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