is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
