She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
