I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
