your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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