tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize