Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
