I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
