just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
