You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize