i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
