Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
