i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
