I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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