What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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