she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
