Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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