So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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