I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
