am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
