forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
