im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
