P.S. I can't hear my feet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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