all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
