Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize