you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He felt like a one man threesome
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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