Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
